P.E.T.A

I'm fine with naked, just don't talk...

The latest stooge of the month award goes not to an individual, but an organisation. PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Sometimes PETA say stupid things. Like don't wear clothes made of animals. Which is fine if you are a supermodel and live on a beach in the Bahamas. Last time I checked, none of those conditions apply to me. Then PETA decided that it was a bad idea to eat Cows, Sheep and Chickens, which happen to be three of my favourite vegetables.

And now, some dreadlocked hippy PETA activist has climbed down from their tree long enough to accidentally discover water. Mind you, it is not as though they will use the water to bathe themselves for only the first time in their lives, because we all know that hippies are actually allergic to water and bathing, as are English tourists apparently. And as a result of this discovery of water, the PETA hippies now want to save fish.

How?

By encouraging everyone to call "fish", uh... "sea kittens".

I'm sorry? Sea Kittens? Are PETA assuming everyone on the planet are retards? Are we that easily convinced? I mean, I for one can't remember the last time I confused a stinking, slimy, scaled, cold and clammy fish with a kitten. And I don't even like cats. PETA have even gone on to set up a website about these 'sea kittens'.

As I finish this report, I am awarding PETA the lifeofsuch stooge award, not for snuggle buddies, sea kittens or Tony the child murdering trout, but ultimately for creating a whole publicity campaign that didn't involve a single naked supermodel. Disappointing.

So PETA, congratulations on your award, but please refrain from using actual words which are obviously beyond you, and stick to what you do best. Convincing hot women to pose naked for no apparent reason...

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Corey Worthington

For being a knob with bad glasses, bad hair, bad fashion, a bad stint on big brother, but doing a kickass interview on A Current Affair, and when being told to "take a good hard look at yourself" simply replying "I have, everyone has... they love it".

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Hon. Kevin Rudd

For looking like Tin Tin at 50, being married to a horse, and creating a knee jerk money grabbing tax on alcoholic RTD's to "prevent and slow" excessive drinking, all the while planning for an INCREASE in sales of the very same drinks. More tax + more sales = grubby government money grab.

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Le Trung

For being a super nerd, liking world of warcraft, and being socially awkward. And for making that awkwardness worse by creating a lifelike female robot (with full working parts) so smart she can react to human touch. Too smart that she actually rejects him and slapped him when he touched her breast... awesome" *Gun Fingers*

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